Unforgiveness in a marriage - Symptoms and solutions!
A hard heart
The inability for a marriage partner to be moved by whatever afflicts their spouse is a screaming sign that unforgiveness has caused their heart to grow cold or
better still,dead! The harder ones could even go as far
as wishing one another dead!
The Solution: Such a situation,however,could be redeemed. Although you may be justified to harden your heart toward your husband or wife because they seemingly hurt your feelings intentionally, try to stay in an attitude of forgiveness. Remind yourself that you love your spouse! You may not have that deep feeling of love toward them right not - but choose to decide to love and care about what affects them, in spite of a lack of romantic feelings. Also allow your mind to drift towards the scriptures: you should remember that we wrestle not against flesh and blood(Ephesians 6:12 ) and that the weapons of our warfare are also not carnal (2 Corinthians 10:4 ). Do not forget,as a christian,that a demon could have entered your partner and could be causing her to behave like that(Matthew 13:24).
The silent treatment (also known as the “I’m not punishing him, I’m just not talking to him right now” treatment)
The silent treatment is usually an indicator that a husband or wife has a rap sheet of their spouses past offenses tucked in their hip pocket. In fact, their mate’s behavior has so infuriated them, they have no words left. You could interrogate them for hours under a glaring spotlight in a dingy, smoke-filled room - they’re not talking.
The Solution: Talk .. communicate ..share ..open up. If you’re in the habit of giving the silent treatment, begin today to humble yourself, open up, and communicate freely.
Expecting the worst
As a new offense is added to the exhaustive list, the husband or wife is as good as glad because it’s one more evidence of his/her being on the recieving end. They’ll pull that list out at an advantageous moment to use as proof of their spouses continual disregard for their feelings.
An attitude of unforgiveness will set us up to expect the worst in our husband or wife. And when we expect the worst, it’s often exactly what we get. Expecting the worst can become like a well-traveled road—it’s familiar, it’s safe, and it protects us from being disappointed ..again.
The solution lies in seeking God’s perspective on your mate and “choosing” to search for the good in your husband or wife. Expect the best in your marriage and you´ll get it. Remember as a christian that you can only get what you imagine and see! If you’ve found it difficult to forgive in the past—I have good news for you; today is a new beginning! Don’t wait until you “feel” like forgiving; because frankly, you probably never will. Instead, decide to forgive. Why not start today? Click to read Unforgiveness and marriage!
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By: Emmanuel and Blessing Agbo.
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